baby boy can’t lift his headache head

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

vanish

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stuckinapril

awkward-fallen-angel

infectiouspiss

googling ‘jobs for autistic people’ and realising that everyone still thinks autistic people are either sheldon cooper or really tall toddlers

infectiouspiss

NVM ONE SUGGESTED NIGHT GUARD OUTTA MY WAY GAYBOY IM GONNA FUCK FREDDY FAZBEAR

tooies

ericism

why is hideki naganuma insane. who is teaching a middle aged japanese man to say shit like this

themainspoon

Here’s the explanation:

macklesufficient

socialmaya

tangerinegrove

regrettablyjake

Didn't notice the GLARINGLY OBVIOUS change, and was instead desperately looking for the "had to do it to em" guy

feralthembo

beatrice-otter

theocseason4

Nahhhh not a therapist saying this what do you think you get paid for

diogenesnuts

brendanicus

fandom therapist turns out to be high school mean girl more at 10

fluorescentbrains

doc davis actually isn’t associated with the tiktok user—and they’re really salty about the video

thekawaiibutterflygirl

oh g o d, NO jlsfdlksfdjkjsdfkjlsdfjlksdf BRUH

seardrax

Reblog this version. The response of the real doctor is very important as well as the keymash.

findingfeather

God, poor bastard.

waifool

nimoy

can i show you guys one of my favorite out of context wikipedia section titles

drella-in-the-bronx

cctinsleybaxter

yimra

neyhaz

me when i get pulled over and the cop hasnt even begun talking yet

beyond-a-name

micro-usb-deactivated20230625 micro-usb-deactivated20230625

Dudes rock

slimetony

powerburial

Babe, ever since I met you, your power level has been over 9000. With you, I know the cake won't be a lie. Together we can rule the galaxy, and all their base will belong to us. I can haz marriage?

snekbitch666

OP I am going to break into your house and unleash a horde of locusts in your closet if you don’t stop

powerburial

wouldn't even notice with the type of shit i got goin on

rat-paws quintessentialbaka

lucasbieneke

Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched “Poison Boots” and kicked the actor playing Tony until he went down. The girl playing Maria then had to jerk the shoe off of Chino’s foot, and had to do the gunshot scene asking “How many kicks Chino? How many kicks, and one kick left for me”.

tbbackus

There should be a blog dedicated to theatrical urban legends. Like that opening weekend of Dracula where Dracula (still hungover) vomited all over the audience during the first stage direction that everyone has a friend of a friend that worked on the show and was there.

crutchiee

or the one where the bridge never came out for Javert’s suicide and so he just pretended to stab himself and then lay there until the lights went out

musicofthestage

best story i heard was when a friend of mine saw a show where juliet forgot to bring the dagger out on stage so she just ripped the squib out of her chest and blood squirted everywhere

agatharights

During a passion play a friend of my brother was supposedly in, one of the roman soldiers who was supposed to stab jesus on the cross and accidentally grabbed the wrong spear- he was supposed to grab one with a fake tip, but instead he grabbed one with an actual metal tip and, well

Jesus screamed “JESUS CHRIST YOU STABBED ME”.

Since that Jesus had to be taken down due to a bad case of stab-itis, the backup Jesus came in, but he weighed significantly less than the original Jesus- which would have been fine, except that at the end the cross was supposed to ascend upwards with Jesus on it, and the weights hadn’t been adjusted.

So Jesus, instead, ROCKETED UP into heaven (or, just, above the stage).

soulpunchftw

This is wild from start to finish

totalspiffage

I was in Peter Pan once and one night at a performance, the adhesive holding our Hook’s mustache on was wearing off. It was near the end with a big fight scene and when he got attacked, he let his mustache fall and went “YOU RIPPED MY MUSTACHE OFF!” in a scandalized tone and it added a new note of hilarity to the whole scene (which was supposed to be funny anyway)

wideawakensoconfused

I was stage managing a production of Cinderella and during a scene with just the prince and the herald and a tall board of backdrop. The prince was sitting on the bench complaining about his problems while the herald pretended to listen and someone backstage accidentally hit the board and it started to come down, the herald jumped in front to catch it before it landed on the prince, and the prince pretended not to notice and complained about how no one ever listens to him or cares about his problems while the Herald is trying to keep the board from crushing them both. I fixed it from behind the curtain and the prince stormed off while the Herald just turned to the audience and shrugged. The audience died laughing

strawbeary-boy

In a production of a western comedy when I was in high school, we were on stage and the villain’s mustache came off so he flicked it to the ground and acted disgusted and in a surge of comedic inspiration, I stomped on it and went, “kill it, kill it!”

Much laughter ensued.

In that same production, myself and two others were supposed to be playing “stupid” bandits but we turned that on its head because at the end of the night when we went out to bow, as just the three of us, we whipped off our cowboy hats and spilled fake money everywhere, implying that we were actually very clever and were putting money away without our boss knowing of it. The kids loved running to pick it up and the adults laughed.